The BROJO Self-Development Pyramid

300 Self-Respect

Driven by the Value of Respect

Skills to Practice

  • Setting short-term goals
  • Self-care. Gym, fitness, nutrition, social life.
  • Develop hobbies around your interests, and practice them regularly.
  • Work on the harder Shame grid items levels 3 & 4 (of 5)
  • NOFAP
  • Family, Friend & Work Relationships
  • Set frame, when someone is conflicting with your values. Be comfortable with confrontation, as a means of improving your relationships, social world, & your life.
  • Be willing to lose relationships that are not a healthy fit for you
  • Pursue relationships with people who share your Values
  • Demand balance of investment in your relationships. You and the other person should invest equally (though not necessarily in the same way)
  • In Romantic Relationships
  • Approaching
  • Expressing attraction
  • Dating
  • Balanced investment

Journaling Questions

  • What I did I do today that impressed me?
  • What did I do today that improved my life?
  • Did I encounter any situations where I felt my values were conflicted with? If so, what did I do, or what should I do about that?
  • Are my needs being met in my current life situation, and by my current relationships?  If not, what should I do to improve that?
  • Am I wasting time & energy in areas of my work, hobbies, and relationships, which is not benefitting my life? If so what can I do to improve that?

Add questions that are specific to your short-term goals.

Self-Review

You are ready to move to the next level, when you can answer YES to all of these questions.

  • Do I have an interesting life?
  • Am I regularly making decisions to impress myself, rather than others?  
  • Am I living by my values?

The Pyramid

Click to view the details for a level;

The Self-Development Pyramid is based on the principles of schematic learning. Each level of skills is progressively based on the underlying skills - crawling, then standing, then walking, then running, and so on.

Key Points

  • Practicing skills and performing tasks at levels higher than you are ready for is 10X more difficult than necessary, is often wasted effort, and can lead to unhelpful failures.  
  • Investing in the lower levels pushes everything above them up, no matter how advanced you are in the pyramid. Invest in those fundamentals as much as you can.
  • The skills, journaling and progression questions shown here are for general self-development. However you can apply the pyramid to any area you want to develop, e.g. health, fitness, romance, social skills, or starting a business.
  • In different areas of your life, you’ll be at different levels of development.  Health, fitness, career, friendships, family, romantic relationships.
  • Like any pyramid, the lower layers are much thicker and more foundational. It will take time to work through those, but do not let that deter you- your progress will be exponential if you build a solid foundation in your personal development practice.