BROJO's Code of Conduct & Community Posting Guide

As a BROJO member, you are granted access to our online communities and forums.

These communities are safe spaces where we seek to create the best environment possible for people to be vulnerable and work through their life challenges.

As a member of our community, you agree to abide by our Code of Conduct.  

Understanding BROJO’s Community

Many people in our communities are dealing with intense and difficult emotions and challenging life situations. They may struggle to express themselves clearly.

Group members may have;

  • Social anxiety / lack of experience
  • Writing skill issues
  • Emotional distress
  • People around you may be on-the-spectrum, or have other deep emotional / psychological issues
  • Mental illness and mental health barriers

As such, patience and respect are essential in your communications within the BROJO community.

Repeated or severe violations of BROJO's Code of Conduct will result in being muted, or banned, at the moderator's discretion.

Code of Conduct

Our rules are few, and simple.

#1 - Respect all

BROJO has no tolerance for bigotry or prejudice. We do not support any worldview which preaches hatred toward any group of humans. If anything like this comes up, you will be challenged on it. We’re all human and have our biases, all we ask is that you do not disrespect others.

Direct personal attacks, bullying, and name-calling will not be tolerated. There is never a justification for these types of behaviors. If you disagree with someone, great, enjoy the fact that you were just challenged emotionally.

Shit-posting, posts which have zero value, or posts designed to be inflammatory, will be deleted. Repeat offenders will be banned. Real questions are welcome, Give value, ask real questions, and learn.

#2 - What’s said in BROJO, stays in BROJO

Personal growth is challenging, and we embrace deep sharing and vulnerability in this journey together. Everything said in our groups, meetings, events, online forums etc. needs to be considered private and kept confidential.

#3 - You will be challenged to grow

BROJO is about self-development. You are joining a community of people who want to become better. Our responsibility to you is to help you identify where you’re holding yourself back...

  • Self-sabotage
  • Beliefs without good evidence or reason
  • Procrastination
  • Unhelpful behavior
  • Victim thinking

Think of us as your gym. If we see you taking a nap on the weight bench, we may have to kick your butt ( and you should absolutely do the same for others, including the coaches ).

We are not an echo chamber. Expect feelings of confrontation.

#4 - No marketing or selling anything

BROJO focuses is on individual self-development and us not a business networking / sales group. No marketing or selling to members is permitted.

For entrepreneurs - if you’re an entrepreneur, we have a special entrepreneur’s group for those who are keen to build product / service-based businesses. Here we focus on supporting and learning from each other, collaborating, and developing skills & techniques such as marketing, market testing, collaboration, outsourcing, hiring. and more.  

Posting Guidelines

Try to avoid posts that appear designed to incite emotional reactions. Authentic problems need to be described authentically, with the details of your personal struggle.

How to Post well;

  • Post in the appropriate group. We have many communities, some local to specific areas of the world, some global. Post in the right group as best you can, so that it's relevant to the people involved.
  • Posts must have value to the group. Are people given the opportunity to learn and share real things? Perfect.
  • Be specific. Try to focus on one problem at a time, so people can respond effectively.
  • Explain the context in detail. Detail is good, it helps us see the situation through your eyes.
  • Discuss the specific thoughts and feelings that you are struggling with. What's happening inside your head, in this situation?
  • Frame it as a personal challenge rather than a moral debate - what are you trying to get clarity on inside your own head?
  • Ask for feedback but not decisions - the group can’t tell you what to do. What they do might be different, based on their own core values.

Response Guidelines

Respond with Respect;

  • Being honest does not mean judgment or personal attacks
  • Remember that you definitely don’t know the full story
  • Benefit of the doubt - assume the person is trying to live with integrity, even if in your eyes they’re failing to do so
  • Don’t respond if you’re outraged - learn to manage your emotional reactions prior to responding - this is not your average internet group, we’re adults here
  • If you are outraged and can’t let it go, message Mike or Dan and wait for a response, or even better, move on with your life and ignore the post
  • Give feedback on the person’s attempt at valued living (according to their own values), rather than trying to force your own moral code onto others
  • If you notice the group ganging up on someone, defend them - you don’t need to agree, but you should always speak out against bullying and mob behavior

When you feel provoked, ask yourself “why am I feeling this way?”

  • Straight up misunderstanding
  • Because others are? The “bandwagon effect” 
  • Because I feel pressured to advise someone on a difficult choice, and that creates anxiety?
  • Because I find it exhausting?
  • Because I feel annoyed? e.g. it doesn’t feel like a real problem to solve, to me?

I'm Feeling Very Confronted by Someone's Post, What Should I Do?

Great! We want this to happen regularly. Our goal here isn't to confirm the perspectives & biases of everyone in our group, or to thicken the walls of our comfort zones.

Our purpose is to challenge our thinking, expand our awareness of the world and the other humans that inhabit it.

Our goal, together, is to develop our emotional resilience and maturity as individuals.

If you feel overly confronted by a post-

  • Remember that you definitely don’t know the whole story
  • Assume that the person isn’t expressing themselves clearly
  • Assume that your reaction is biased.
  • Remember that written communication is easy to misinterpret, so breathe deeply before you respond, because there’s a really good chance you misinterpreted it (at least in this group)

Understand that not everyone has the skills you do-

  • Ability to describe their questions or conflicts clearly
  • Emotional intelligence to describe what they’re feeling
  • Social skills, grace
  • Communication & writing skill

If you're feeling over-triggered, or have nothing valuable to add, just stay silent, and observe your emotions. They're all yours.

Set an Example for Others

Remember that at any given moment, 90% of our community is silently watching and learning from your behavior.

Assume that you don't understand the situation, and that the person is unable to express themselves clearly. Ask for clarification or details that will help you respond.

Manage your emotions, and post your questions or concerns clearly and concisely, without aggression or malice.

Watch out for the Bandwagon Effect, also known as mob behavior. You will be emotionally influenced by the reactions of others. Your mind will see it as justification for your anger, and you will feel more tempted to join in attacks.

Actively make this a safe community for everyone, so that anyone, no matter how anxious, can feel safe posting their questions or concerns with no fear of adverse judgement or personal attacks.

How we Handle Situations

Our approach is constantly evolving, as the group grows.

  • Complaints will always be investigated, so alert us and be patient
  • Our approach will be to “freeze” the situation to prevent unnecessary further damage, and we may mute some people until they cool down
  • Insults and name-calling is 100% not OK, and will get you banned no matter how you were provoked, even if you were directly attacked. You will never be able to use someone else breaching our rules as an excuse to breach them yourself.

It’s OK to feel provoked, but that’s your own challenge to deal with. Own it and manage your reactions.

When in doubt, contact us!

Contacting Us

If you’re uncertain about any of the above, or have any questions, contact us!

Coach Dan & Coach Mike - info@brojo.org

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