Like many other guys here, I started my journey as “Mr Nice Guy”. I would find it hard to rock the proverbial boat. My love life was a no-go. Trying to avoid confrontation at work was leading to frustration and low self-esteem.
I was in a no exit friendzone with one girl I really liked. It took guts and coaching to realise that being in the situation was doing nothing for me, so I decided to pull the plug on the so called friendship to give myself a fresh start.
Then I found Brojo.
I have personally been able to change how I see problems and people. I am getting married to a wonderful woman. Being with her makes me grateful for the fact that I decided to come out of my oneitis
I used to be scared to assert myself for fear of coming across as an unpleasant person. But I felt that keeping dissatisfaction bottled up within was having negative effects on my work relationships. I would find it difficult to speak my mind in front of bullies at work, and would later curse myself for it. I felt that I was being dishonest to myself and others by not expressing negative emotions like anger.
I have practised the simple yet difficult task of expressing myself honestly. Handling confrontation is therefore a skill I continue to get better at. It helps me cultivate a deeper and more satisfying association with my workmates. It has also resulted in the achievement of many professional milestones like being invited to speak internationally to other professionals, being on the Auckland Dental Association’s Executive Committee, as well as better performance at work on a day to day basis.
Was it easy? Heck no! It involved living by the values of honesty, respect and responsibility towards myself and others. It was frustrating and made me hopeless on multiple occasions but hey, doing things the old way wasn’t getting me anywhere either. This at least felt right.