One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in dating is essentially having a kind of checklist or criteria that they judge people against; a list of qualities that they hope for in an “ideal” partner.
Sometimes these things are superficial, like the way they look or how much money they make, and other times they're qualities that you think make sense compatibility-wise, like they're loyal or they really like arts and crafts.
The thing is though, if you haven't already been with your ideal partner, then you don't actually know what your criteria is!
You don't know what it is that's going to turn you on spiritually, psychologically, and sexually, until after you've experienced it. Just like you don’t know if you’ll enjoy a new good until you taste it.
So if your list is based on you basically guessing what you think you should want, or what society has conditioned you to believe that you should want, then it's only going to be misleading and limiting.
In most of the cases I’ve seen, the list is actually incredibly harmful, driving people into the arms of bad-fit partners who mistreat them (especially when the list is fixated on appearances, money, or sexual satisfaction).
You might miss out on a good partner because they don't meet the criteria. I’ve seen so many people go through dating hell looking for someone who ticks all the boxes, and then they finally end up happy with someone who completely contradicts the list.
Let your experience with people tell you what your criteria is. Go towards people that you enjoy and connect with, even if it doesn’t make sense, and go away from people who hurt or bore you, even if they look good “on paper”.
Put it this way; if your list was helpful, you’d be with your ideal partner right now.
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