Wassup,
If you find yourself often hesitating before you make a decision or take an action, not because you don’t know what to do exactly, but you’re worried about how other people might react, or you feel like you need some sort of signal from the outside world before you can move forward, then you don’t want to miss today’s episode.
Today, we’re going to explore why Nice Guys and People Pleasers often freeze and end up following the lead of others instead of making decisions for themselves. If you find yourself having to check with others before you move forward on a decision, or you procrastinate on something simple because you just weren’t sure how it was going to land with other people, this is for you.
Do you often ask for advice rather than feedback? Like you ask for people’s advice on the idea you haven’t acted on, rather than feedback on the idea you have already started.
Basically, you’re afraid of going first. You’re afraid of initiating, taking an action that doesn’t come with some sort of signal of approval and validation before you do it. This is something that I’ve called Green Light Syndrome.
Maybe you’re hesitant to initiate sex, not because you don’t want to, but you’re scared that she might reject you. Maybe you’re hesitant to go for the promotion, not because you don’t want the job, but because nobody said that you were right for the role, and nobody said you should apply for it.
When it comes to dinner, you might know what you want to eat, but you frame it as a question, like, what do you guys want to eat? You can’t just put the idea out there and take the risk that other people would disagree.
Confident men don’t do this. They make the decision and THEN they deal with the consequences.
You’re trying to deal with the consequences before making the decision.
By the end of this episode, hopefully you’ll understand why it is you’ve got that vague sense of waiting for approval before you can take action and make a decision, and how to transition into someone who can go forward and take that risk and lead with initiative and know what they really want.
I’m going to talk about going on a “yellow light”, that idea of going forward without first getting approval, without first getting validation that your idea is okay…
Click here to keep reading on Dan’s blog.
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