Why Compliments Make You Squirm (and How to Fix It)

Alright team, let’s talk about something ridiculously common but almost never discussed: why the hell compliments make so many people uncomfortable.

This came up recently with a bunch of my coaching clients, and honestly, it used to be one of my biggest struggles too. You spend your whole life seeking approval, trying to get people to like you, doing the “good boy” routine… and then the moment someone actually praises you, you freeze like a deer in headlights.

Or worse — you reject it.

You minimize it.
You deflect it.
You crack a joke.
You justify it.
You argue with them.
You basically fight the compliment like it’s some kind of personal attack.

Sound familiar?

Most nice guys and people-pleasers live in this weird paradox: we crave validation, but when it shows up, we treat it like a trap. And there’s a good reason for that. A lifetime of seeking approval conditions you to see praise as high-stakes. “If they think I’m good now, what happens when I disappoint them?” Cue imposter syndrome, shame, fear of arrogance, and that old childhood training to “stay humble” to the point of self-destruction.

In the video I just released, I break this dynamic down in detail — not just the behavior, but the psychology behind it. We look at where this fear of accepting compliments actually comes from: childhood conditioning, a lack of internal self-worth, suspicion of people’s intentions, and a total misunderstanding of what compliments really are.

Because here’s the truth:
A compliment is not a factual statement about who you are.
It’s just someone saying, “Hey, this thing you did matched my personal preference.”

That’s it.

But most people treat compliments like a courtroom verdict on their identity. No wonder the tension goes through the roof.

So in the video, I also talk about the harm this pattern causes — in your relationships, your confidence, and the way people connect with you. When you fight someone’s compliment, you’re actually rejecting them, not the words. You’re throwing their gift back in their face.

And whether you realise it or not, you hate that when people do it to you too.

The good news is, fixing this is way simpler than you think. There’s one small, confident behavior that instantly changes the dynamic. And I share a couple of reframes that remove the shame, remove the fear, and help you detach from other people’s opinions so you can actually enjoy being seen for who you are.

If you struggle with imposter syndrome…
If you can’t take praise without panicking…
If you’re forever minimizing your strengths…
Or if you just want to build real confidence and stop tying your self-worth to other people’s reactions…

This video is going to be a game changer.