I want to start with a quote that my dad used to say all the time:
“Stay silent and be thought a fool, or open your mouth and remove all doubt”
He used to say this pretty much any time I said something stupid.
This is going to be at the heart of what we’re talking about today, which is the combination of hypervigilance in a social setting and defensiveness, that is, being hyper-aware of how everybody thinks and feels about you as well as the actions you take to try to prevent them from thinking anything bad about you.
In particular, how this combination not only makes socializing really unenjoyable and makes it impossible for you to relax, but also how it actually causes the problem it’s trying to solve.
By being hypervigilant and defensive, you’re more likely to provoke dislike than if you were just relaxed and being yourself, and today I want to help you transition from worrying what people think about you all the time and not being able to enjoy socializing because of it, to relaxing, letting go of your defensiveness, letting people think whatever they want to think about you and, as a result, actually being able to connect and enjoy yourself.
This episode comes as a request from my audience.
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