You might think your motives are clean — that being a people-pleaser helps and improves the lives of others.

You may believe that you're having a positive impact on people by being nice.

But… are you sure about that?

Let’s say that you think that because somebody has a positive short-term reaction to you — like laughing, feeling relieved, or saying thank you — that’s evidence you’ve improved their life.

It might sound logical, but it’s not.

Let’s say someone is grieving or sad, and you cheer them up.

Have you not interrupted the grieving process prematurely?

You’ve interfered with the natural function of dealing with loss.

How does that improve their life?

You’ve delayed their healing.

You give someone advice instead of letting them figure it out for themselves.

Have you not weakened their problem-solving abilities?

You’ve deprived them of the valuable life lessons that come through trial and error,
through experimentation.

You’ve shortcut the process because you wanted to see the problem solved — and in doing so, you robbed them of the learning they would’ve gained from solving it themselves.

You’ve taken away their triumph and their glory.

You became the hero who swooped in…so they don’t get to be the winner.

You’ve influenced them with your ideas, your opinions, about what a good life should look like — instead of letting them decide that for themselves.

So, why would you pat yourself on the back for this behavior?

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

https://youtu.be/qNdkj-0WT00

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