What if, by trying to avoid rocking the boat, you actually make it sink.
If you’re like most nice guys and people pleasers, you’ve probably been walking on eggshells in your relationship to avoid upsetting your partner and to prevent conflict.
You choose your words carefully. You avoid certain topics. You anticipate and prevent problems from happening. You pretend to agree with things. You follow rather than lead. You are generally just trying to keep the peace all the time, and you probably pat yourself on the back for doing it.
But I’ll bet you’ve noticed something that’s pretty frustrating: Not only is this not working, the conflicts are getting worse as time passes.
So either the drama keeps happening anyway—it’s just a different type of drama—or other problems are starting to emerge. Even if it looks like the two of you are reasonably conflict-free and things look okay on the surface, things like intimacy, respect, and knowing who you are are starting to deteriorate, or have gotten really bad over time.
You start to feel resentful, highly anxious, feel like you’re kind of being eroded away, and you get a sense of dread that things are never going to get better—that you’re trapped in a prison and there’s really no way out.
There’s this kind of paradox, or this trap, where you feel like you’re doing everything right and being a good person, and yet there’s constant tension. It feels like the problem never gets solved.
In today’s podcast episode, we’re going to break down why walking on eggshells not only doesn’t work, it’s actually one of the main causes of conflict and tension in a relationship.
We’re going to break down what it means to walk on eggshells, what it looks like, why it happens, how you became a person who does this, why it doesn’t work, why it backfires on you, and a healthier, more respectful, and confident way to deal with these issues that will actually reduce the overall conflict over time.
The best thing is, you can reduce all this conflict without actually causing a lot of chaos. It’s not going to be as bad as you think it’s going to be, but you’re just going to have to trust me on this one.
Because let’s face it, even if avoiding conflict is keeping the peace, it’s creating other problems…
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