There's a meme going around at the moment which says:
"I don't care what anyone says, Good People get tired of being good to ungrateful people."
It’s very popular. Whenever I peruse the comments section, it’s full of people who clearly see themselves as selfless givers who aren’t being appreciated and have had enough.
I get the feeling.
But this meme neatly demonstrates one of the main problems with people pleasing…
If you get tired of being good to people because they don't repay you and reward you in some way, even with gratitude, then the real reason you're being good is to manipulate people into rewarding you, which means you're not really being good at all!
You’re just using the appearance of goodness as a strategy to get what you want for your own selfish satisfaction.
This is at the heart of people pleasing and nice guy syndrome. While you tell yourself that you’re a good person, you get pretty upset when you’re not paid what you feel that you’re owed for being good.
People pleasers are never really giving freely.
If you were really being good, you'd never get tired of it. Why? Because you wouldn’t even care if you received gratitude from others.
You’d simply be doing it to honour your values and principles. Other peoples’ reactions would be a mere curiosity at most, and maybe a guide as to whom you better connect with.
Confident people don’t keep score.
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