"Happy wife, happy life" really means something like: “If I sacrifice, you have to be happy. You owe me.” Right? “I’ve done my half, now you owe me your half.”

I’m not going to say that out loud—it’s going to be a covert contract.

I’m just going to expect some sort of reward or happiness from you to validate me.

When I don’t get it, I’m going to get mad at you for it.

That’s how fucked up this system is: I’m going to get mad at you for not letting me manipulate you into being happy so that I feel comfortable.

We call this healthy. We think this is a good relationship—one that’s going to go the distance.

Resentment is poison to relationships.

This is actually a scientific fact at this point—it’s been studied by the Johns Hopkins Institute.

If enough resentment builds into contempt, you cannot save the relationship.

Having your well-being depend on her mood causes two major issues.

First, for the relationship: she starts to feel like your mother.

She gets anxiety because your emotional state depends on hers.

She has to bear that burden.

She feels it.

Some women—often the more emotionally unhealthy ones—may want that kind of control. But others will resent you for putting them in that “mother-leader” role they never asked for.

Second, even more importantly: you cannot put your self-confidence into someone else’s hands.

That is yours—and yours alone—to maintain.

You cannot let how good you feel about yourself depend on how someone else feels about you.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

https://youtu.be/H9juxPWbYvY

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