The lie we most often tell is one of convenience.
It's the bit of untruth that we can say right now that creates the most optimal emotional experience in the very short term future.
When you lie to a child about the park being closed, it’s to prevent them from having a tantrum and you having to talk to them about it. When you lie to your friend about why you don't want to go to the party, it's so that you can have that relief of not having them be upset that you don't want to spend time with them.
And the lie of convenience is possibly the most detrimental of all the lies!
At least the big lies are obvious. If you get caught there's one big punishment, and bad-fit relationships are often either destroyed or forced to repair as a result.
But lies of convenience are like bleeding people from a thousand small wounds. They are rarely called out. Relationships continue for years or decades while slowly deteriorating.
Convenience lies remind me of serial shoplifters. They mostly get away with it, and when they do get caught they only get punished for one instance of shoplifting, which is always a minor sentence. Yet in a year some of them can steal as much as $100K worth of goods. Shoplifters have a significantly negative impact on the global economy!
You slowly prick a relationship to death with all these convenient lies, because here's the horrible bit:
They know you're lying.
To replace convenient lying with confident shamelessness, check out my Powerful Honesty course