Most Nice Guys and people pleasers think their problem is that they’re too kind, too generous, too thoughtful, too compassionate, too selfless.
But what if that’s not actually true?
What if your problem isn’t kindness at all? What if the thing you call kindness is actually control?
That’s a brutal idea to sit with, especially if you’ve built your entire identity around being a “good person.” However, if you’re willing to look honestly at yourself, this realization can completely change your life, because there’s a kind of narcissism hiding inside many nice guys and people pleasers.
I am not talking about the loud, arrogant, flashy narcissism everyone talks about online. I mean a quieter version: a more socially acceptable version. A version that disguises itself as generosity, empathy, and helpfulness. The strange thing is, the people trapped in this pattern often genuinely care about others.
That’s what makes it so hard to spot.
You’re not trying to dominate people by intimidating them. You’re trying to dominate people by pleasing them.
You’re constantly trying to manage:
You become emotionally exhausted because you think you’re responsible for everything, and underneath all of that is what I call the Inept God Complex.
Check out the full podcast episode below:
If you prefer written content, click here to keep reading the full written version on Dan’s blog.
Or click on your preferred option below
Join the Premier International self-development community, and help us change the world.
Enter your name, and the email you'd like to receive your newsletter & courses.
You will never be spammed. Unsubscribe from membership anytime you like.
.svg){kind=small}
