A dark truth: altruism is not possible.

Altruism is the idea that one can give without wanting anything in return—no reward for yourself.

I just don’t see any evidence for that.

It doesn’t make sense.

In fact, the only thing somebody could do without anything for themselves would be—nothing at all.

There is no such thing as an unmotivated action.

You’re not always consciously aware of why you’re doing something.

In fact, you’re very rarely aware of why you’re really doing stuff—but the brain always has a reason for what it’s doing. As far as I can tell, that reason is always your brain’s best guess at how to achieve its goals.

So, you’ve got to let go of the idea of pure giving, because it’s not possible—and I think that this idea actually ends up becoming a justification for quite manipulative, people-pleasing, behavior.

You can tell yourself, “I’m just being altruistic,” when actually, you’re just trying to control people to get your needs met. However, by telling yourself you’re altruistic, you get to discard or ignore what you’re getting out of it.

People pleasers are not sacrificing themselves at all. This is how they get their needs met.

They’re winning—quite often by imposing their help on other people, which means the other person is actually losing.

So, what is the alternative to this idea of pure altruistic giving? What is honest and sustainable?

Embrace self-centered giving—the kind where you’re honest with yourself and others about your motives. With this kind of giving, you can enhance lives—both your own and others’—simultaneously.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

https://youtu.be/AI9-GscJ5r4

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