One thing you'll notice if you watch top level sports games - as some of you might have done recently ⚽ - and you understand the sport well, you'll see in high level competition it's not that one team wins, it's that the other team loses.
If, for example, two top-seed tennis players are against each other, you’ll notice the games are decided by errors rather than high performance. You’ll often see the same in soccer, rugby, and even Formula 1 racing.
I used to see this a lot playing chess. For most of the games I lost, it wasn't that the other person outplayed me as such - it's that I fucked up. I rarely lost a game without committing stupid blunders or overlooking easy opportunities. And when I win, it can mostly be attributed to me committing less mistakes than my opponent (about 95% of the time).
When you notice this and you start looking for it everywhere, you'll realize most of people's struggles come from self-sabotage. Failure comes from some sort of subconscious drive to commit errors, to rush, and to make stupid decisions.
You might consider yourself to be unlucky in love, but when you look closer you’ll see you avoided rejection risks.
You might think you’re stuck in your career, but see how long it’s been since you applied for a better job.
You might believe that weight loss is a mystery, but who’s the one eating treats right before bed?
Winning and succeeding is mostly about supporting yourself and preventing sabotage.
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