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Redefining Fatherhood: Embracing Imperfection in Parenting

You don’t need to be perfect because you can’t be.

There’s no one who’s a perfect parent.

Slips and lapses are part of it.

This does not justify continued poor parenting.

This does not mean that anything you think of doing as a parent is a good idea, but you’re not going to completely nail it every time.

So imagine it’s a scale—healthy versus unhealthy—and you’ve just got to keep trying to tip the scale back towards healthy as often as you possibly can.

When you see it slipping, try to correct it.

That’s all you’re doing.

You’re just redeeming yourself at any given moment.

Reparations are good learning experiences and good modelling. So, when you mess up parenting, talk to the kid about it.

If you raise your voice at them, it doesn’t matter that they were drawing on the wall—raising your voice still broke your own standards, and they should know that.

You can say, “Look, you drawing on the wall, you know I don’t like that, but I also shouldn’t have raised my voice at you.”

She was wrong for what she did, but she’s not wrong for what I did.

Just remember, you’re not responsible for their choices, okay?

You are their guide, their supporter, their safe place, but you’re not their handler.

You’re not their controller.

You’re not their mind.

You’ve got to let them become autonomous if you want them to be confident.

It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to experience in my life—letting her be who she wants to be rather than moulding her into what I think she should be.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

https://youtu.be/uS6YmLC9LnA

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