It's become very difficult for a man to know what's safe around sex, because there's no one here to teach us.

You're not born knowing what safety is.

I don't know why that's expected of men.

Men are supposed to know the difference between flirting and harassment; the difference between foreplay and assault. However, no one is teaching them what the difference is.

Our fathers were too scared of it, and too confused by it, to teach us.

Who's there to teach us other than media that keeps repeating: “Men are rapists, men are rapists!”

Now, you've got these men who are scared to be sexual, they're scared to be a man.

They think it's going to come with consequences.

I remember that from my own life.

I'd be in bed with a woman and now, looking back, I can see that she was clearly keen for something. However, I kept telling myself: “No, she has to do the first move or otherwise I'm a rapist.”

I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't cross the line into sexual behaviour because I was just so scared of being wrong about it and ending up in court or hurting her feelings and ruining her life.

Men are conditioned, as they grow older, to feel ashamed of sexual desire.

They're told that it's materialistic to be attracted to a girl, unless you get to know her first. That just doesn't line up with reality.

Romantic movies portray men who are strongly sexual as being a sleazy bastard, and the wimpy friend is the real hero. So, men look at that as a model of what it means to be a man, without having an alternative.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

https://youtu.be/9VDrVWBpXks

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