New full length video:

“In today's video, we're going to talk about navigating difficult conversations, the techniques for tackling the tough topics. We're going to call these confrontations.

Now confrontations are different from conflicts, which are emotional reactions. So a confrontation is just words expressed assertively. A conflict would be an unreasonable or unhelpful emotional reaction to a confrontation. In fact, someone can have a conflict without being confronted at all. But it's important to separate the two. Just because you're confronting someone doesn't mean that you're in a conflict. Just because someone's confronting you doesn't mean that you're in a conflict. It's a choice as to how we react.

The most important thing is that difficult conversations are really what builds deep connections. We don't build deep connections and rapport based on shared pleasant experiences, that just builds comfort with another person. There's nothing wrong with that. But if you want to go deep with someone, we have to get into the difficult topics.

No matter how they go, try to see them through to the very end. Even if you're an amateur, even if you have massive phobia around confrontation, once you're in one stay as long as you possibly can, because they usually get really bad in the middle and then they get good on the other side, and too many people bail in the middle. If you can see it through to the other side, you usually end up with a deeper connection with the other person.

So quickly, here are the biggest mistakes to avoid.

• Hitting someone like a bus.
• Being vague, indirect, confusing, long winded.
• Don't make accusations and judgments without evidence.
• Make sure you manage your emotions.
• Don't make more than one point at a time.
• Don't ignore their reaction or dismiss their response (unless they're a really narcissistic, toxic person, in which case you should absolutely ignore and dismiss their response - just give them the facts and walk away).
• Do not allow them to redirect the topic or refocus on you.”

» Click here to watch the full video

Stay tuned for part two coming next week.

Have a great weekend

Dan

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