I think there’s a healthier way to think of love.

I prefer to think of love as a set of conditions about behavior.

For me, love is positive treatment of another person.

This is especially important for someone like me, who’s generally quite numb emotionally.

So, the feeling can’t be trusted—but behavior can.

Because behavior is measurable.

Behavior is real.

Notice how often somebody says they love someone, yet they treat that person objectively badly.

How many people say they love their kids, and yet they yell at them, scream at them, hit them, or withhold kindness to manage their behavior?

None of that behavior meets the definition of loving, does it?

If you make the standard—whether I love someone or they love me—dependent on how they treat me, that’s how you measure it.

So, if my partner says she loves me, I put that aside and wait to see: how does she treat me?

The word love should always be about behavior.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

https://youtu.be/NZ_ke05Yzaw

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