Let’s talk about managing a counterattack, especially when it’s done with manipulative intent, in an effort to show that you are not in a position above them to give commentary on their behaviour, to gaslight you into believing that you don’t have a right to set a boundary because you’re either a hypocrite for doing the exact same behaviour, or you’re a hypocrite for just being a bad person in general.

One of the things you’ve always got to remember when somebody counterattacks you during a confrontation is that if they really had a problem with this, they would have brought it up earlier.

It’s just too much of a coincidence that now is the time they think to bring it up.

So, this is how you know it’s manipulation.

Whether it’s intentional or unintentional doesn’t really matter, because they’re bringing it up now, as a reaction to you bringing up your own problem.

You can reasonably assume they wouldn’t have brought this up unless they wanted to use it as a tool to control you.

Sometimes, even the confrontation itself is attacked.

You know, your style of conversation, the way you’re approaching them—this is a kind of distraction technique where they’ll make it look like you’re the bad person for the way you’re confronting them, and that the way you’re confronting them and setting the boundary is worse than whatever behaviour you’re confronting them about.

They might say you’re being judgmental or aggressive, or they may even try to gaslight you and say you’re lying or denying what you’re saying is true, that you’re not remembering things properly, and so on.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:

https://youtu.be/63G0sSWfx3c

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