I have to confess, I was wrong about the actor Will Smith.
In the past, I've talked about him being a role model of confidence, when actually he fooled me. Him being a very successful actor probably should have made me a bit more sceptical!
He's actually a classic Nice Guy.
He's the Performer Type of nice guy, just like me, except he's the master of it, obviously.
Performer Types are the extroverted Nice Guys who gain their sense of worth and confidence by getting approval from others. We’re high achievers, love being centre of attention, are often funny and charming, and are always seeking to be the best.
When I read his book Will (written by Mark Manson), I realized he's still to this day obsessed with performing and getting validation from people.
And then when I saw The Slap, the famous slap of Chris Rock, I knew right away that it was a nice guy “puke”. He exploded in rage because his wife showed signs of distress. (He was actually laughing at the joke until he turned and saw her reaction).
This is the classic explosion of a man who feels burdened with keeping his partner happy at all times, and he was enraged that another man undid all his hard work.
And he's a lesson for all of us, that some of the people around us who seem to be doing really well can often be Nice Guys in disguise, especially if they seem to thrive on validation and approval from the audience.
So keep an eye on that funny friend, that high achiever, that guy who always seems to be crushing it and never complains. There’s a good chance that on the inside he’s drowning in darkness.
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