BROJO publications

How to overcome social anxiety

Original Question:



Prevention of ostracism, rejection, abandonment, loneliness,humiliation

Anxiety is fight/flight response – heightened sense of risk

Extroverts = showing off, performing, attention seeking

Introverts = shyness, withdrawal


Link between social situations/people and danger. What are you afraid will happen if it goes wrong?

Reinforced be behaviour – how you react to this threat confirms or denies it

Self fulfilling prophecy – e.g. nervous = shy = bullying target

Confirmation bias – small events are given significance


See this as overcoming fear, no different to overcoming a fear of spiders

First, you must clearly ID what exactly you’re afraid of and what might make that happen (eg how to you behave to avoid/fight this risk)

Desensitisation – must have low pressure (min effort – any fear will do), an exit strategy, and a reward for trying

Frequency is more important than quantity

Go into fear until there’s none left

Get a coach like Dan, Mike or Dave to accelerate the process and remove the beliefs that hinder you – coaching 3 months vs 5 years alone