Why Promises Aren’t Commitments (And Why That Matters for Your Relationship)

Most people throw around words like commitment and loyalty without ever really understanding what they mean. And because of that, their relationships end up built on wobbly foundations—lots of nice-sounding promises, but not much real presence.

In this week’s video, I break down one of the most misunderstood parts of relationship success: the difference between promising something and actually committing to it.

A promise is future-focused. It’s “I will do this later.”
A commitment is present-focused. It’s “I’m doing this right now.”

That difference sounds small, but it’s everything. Promises make you feel good. Commitments make your relationship good.

The Real Problem: Most Relationships Run on Promises

You’ll see this everywhere:

• “I’ll always love you.”
• “We’ll go on that holiday someday.”
• “I’ll change eventually.”

People say these things with good intentions, but often they’re avoiding the uncomfortable, real-time work of actually showing up. And the truth is, promises don’t hold you together through the hard seasons.

Commitment does.

In the video, I share stories from long-term couples (and my own marriage) that illustrate something most people never discover until it’s too late: love naturally goes through peaks and valleys, and commitment is the bridge that gets you over the valleys without panicking and blowing everything up.

The Other Big Mistake: Blind Loyalty

A lot of people confuse loyalty with commitment, and some stay loyal to things that no longer resemble what they originally signed up for — jobs, marriages, even friendships.

Loyalty shouldn’t mean “I’ll stay no matter how bad this gets.”
It should mean “I’ll stay as long as the values we built this on still exist.”

There’s a huge difference.

The video shows you how to tell whether you’re in:

• a temporary valley that requires patience and integrity
  or
• a fundamentally unhealthy situation you should walk away from

This distinction is life-changing once you understand it.

Why This Matters for Your Happiness

Nothing long-term stays blissful all the time — not hobbies, not careers, not marriages. People assume “good” means “always feels good,” and that belief ruins more relationships than cheating ever has.

Imagine being able to recognize:

• when you’re simply in a normal dip
• when the relationship has changed so much that the original agreement is gone
• when you’re staying for the wrong reasons (fear, guilt, weakness)
• when you’re leaving for the wrong reasons (boredom, discomfort, novelty temptation)

That’s exactly what this video helps you understand.

If You Want Stronger Relationships, Start Here

This video will help you rethink what commitment actually means — not the Hollywood version, but the grounded, values-based version that creates stable relationships, deep trust, and long-term peace.

👉 Watch the full video and tell me in the comments: Do you think your current relationship is running on promises or commitments?

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