Hey everyone,

Let’s talk about one of the messiest, most confusing dilemmas people bring to me: you’re in a relationship, you’re committed, you’re not convinced your partner is a bad person… yet you’re drawn to someone else.

And suddenly your brain is acting like this attraction means something profound.

This situation destroys far more relationships than cheating itself. Not because people are bad, but because they don’t understand what’s actually happening internally. They treat temptation like a “sign” instead of what it usually is: a predictable mix of poor boundaries, emotional avoidance, and unaddressed issues at home.

In this week’s video, I dig into the real psychology behind this dilemma that most people don’t examine.

The Slow Slide Toward Betrayal

Cheating doesn’t start the moment you cross a physical line. It starts much earlier — when you indulge in a fantasy, flirt a little too eagerly, seek validation online, or quietly hide behaviours you know would upset your partner. These tiny actions slowly blur the line of loyalty, and before you realise it, you’ve talked yourself into a moral crisis you never planned on entering.

This happens to good people. It’s not about being evil or selfish; it’s about avoiding discomfort, boredom, conflict, or emotional inconvenience. Most people don’t actually want the affair — they want to escape something inside their current relationship, and the escape conveniently takes the shape of another person.

One of the biggest illusions is the belief that someone new will magically be free of the problems you’re facing at home. But that’s because you’re comparing a full, realistic picture of your partner to the polished highlight reel of someone else. Of course the new person looks perfect — you’re only seeing their best angles.

Your brain is projecting fantasies onto them, exaggerated by the Halo Effect, because you want relief. It’s not truth — it’s wishful thinking.

A relationship slowing down or becoming familiar is not the same thing as being in unhealthy. Attraction dips, routines settle in, sex becomes less spontaneous, and you occasionally annoy each other. This is all normal.

But when you have avoidant tendencies or unresolved insecurity, your mind interprets these ordinary phases as warning signs and starts scanning for alternatives.

If this resonates, you’re not broken — you just haven’t understood your own patterns yet.

The Real Question Isn’t “Who Should I Choose?”

It’s actually much simpler: Is my current relationship worth committing to for one more day?
Not forever. Not five years. Just one more day.

In the video below, I walk through a practical, grounded framework that helps you evaluate the relationship without comparing it to a fantasy of someone else. It’s a way to cut through emotional chaos and see what’s real.

👉 Watch the full video — then hit reply or comment and tell me which part hit you the hardest.

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