Why You’re Attracted to People Outside Your Relationship (And What That Really Means)

Let’s talk about something most people won’t admit out loud:
You will be attracted to other people, even if you’re in a great relationship.

I know a lot of people cling to this fantasy that “once I meet my true love, I won’t even notice anyone else.” Maybe a handful of unicorns experience that. The rest of us? We’re primates with brains that fire off chemicals when the right person walks by at the right moment.

And here’s the real kicker:
That attraction has almost nothing to do with the quality of your relationship.

In fact, treating attraction like some kind of divine sign is one of the fastest ways to sabotage a perfectly good relationship.

In today’s video, I break down why attraction is a threat you have to manage — not a message from the universe telling you to betray your partner and flirt with the cute girl from your salsa class.

Here’s what we get into:

1. Attraction is involuntary — what matters is what you do about it.

Feeling a spark is normal. Acting on it isn’t necessary.
And if a tiny bit of attraction is enough to pull you away, that says more about your commitment than your partner.

2. The workplace is one of the biggest relationship killers.

You’re seeing people at their best: focused, energized, helpful, wearing nice clothes, celebrating wins.
Meanwhile, at home, you’re negotiating chores, bills, and renovations.
It’s not a fair comparison — but your brain doesn’t care.

3. Attraction does NOT equal compatibility.

Physical chemistry is the quickest to fire off and yet the least accurate in predicting long-term relationship success.
You can be wildly attracted to someone who would make you miserable if you actually lived with them.

4. Attachment styles matter more than you think.

Most Nice Guys dealing with this dilemma don’t have a “relationship problem.”
They have an avoidant attachment problem:

• fear of intimacy
• fear of being hurt
• craving novelty and validation
• sabotaging the good thing to avoid vulnerability

If you’ve ever found yourself torn between your partner and some new shiny person who barely knows you… chances are Attachment is the real issue underneath.

5. The fact you’re in this dilemma tells you something deeper.

Secure, confident people don’t end up in “Should I stay or go?” situations.
They don’t even allow this dilemma to arise.
That doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means there’s something worth exploring.

The video digs into all of this in much more detail — including why your brain does this, how to recognize avoidant tendencies in yourself, and what to do when you feel that spark toward someone who isn’t your partner.

If you’ve ever worried that your attraction to someone else means your relationship is doomed… or that it’s some kind of sign you’re supposed to leave… you need to watch this one.

👉 Watch the full video here and get the clarity you’ve been missing.

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